Had an interesting experience. I was out on a delivery. I started, of course, heading down 4th Avenue from 16th Street. But it's important to avoid lights and there are MANY on 4th, plus which sometimes you turn right onto a street instead of crossing it because of oncoming traffic.
So I went into my serpentine routine on my way to the 600 block of 9th Avenue. I hung a left up on 14th Street, across 5th to 6th Avenue, where I turned right. I went a block on 6th before turning left onto 13th Street (only just barely making the light), and then right again on 7th Avenue, then left onto 10th Street for the viaduct. Coming out of the viaduct the light on 8th Avenue was red, so I turned right and then left up 8th Street, and was just about to turn right onto 9th Avenue when I saw flashing lights in my mirror. “Now what in the hell,” I thought, “could they possibly want?”
I pulled into a parking lot and the cops pulled in crosswise behind me, blocking me in. They walked up to me and saw the pizza sitting next to me on the seat. “Oh, that explains it,” they said. They had first noticed me because I sorta cruised through a stop sign or two. Didn't run them, exactly, just kinda didn't come to a full-and-complete stop, 'cause there was no one coming. Plus I was driving maybe just a little bit fast. So they followed me, and then when I started weaving through town, they though maybe something was up. In the words of one of the cops, “We thought you were taking evasive action, trying to lose us,” they said.
“Trust me,” I thought but wisely didn't say, “if I'm trying to escape from you, I'll be driving a lot crazier than that.”
Anyway, they radioed my ID in just to make sure I had no outstanding warrants, and then they let me go without a ticket. But the point of the story is the strange and wonderful thing they said to me before they pulled away. They said, “If you'd had a light on your truck telling us that you were a pizza man, we wouldn't have pulled you over for that.”
See, this confirms something that I'd kind of suspected, which is that regular traffic laws, within reason, don't apply to the pizza man. It makes sense because cops order pizzas too, and they like it when the pizza gets there fast and hot just as much as you do. So it appears that, as far as the cops are concerned, there's a separate set of traffic laws for us, which appeals to me, and also makes me want a lighted sign for my roof.
Courtney thinks that I have the biggest ego of anyone she knows. I disagree; I just think that I have a very healthy self-image, and part of that self-image is the belief that I'm the perfect avatar of cool, and am completely capable of figuring out my own rules for being a productive member of society (in so far as I'm interested in being a productive member of society, which frankly ain't that far). I think that I should be trusted to use my own judgment.
Anyway, I'm sure that, upon hearing this story, Courtney is thinking to herself, “Oh great, just what he needs: support for his belief that the rules that apply to other people shouldn't apply to him.” And really, I'm guessing that some others among you who know me are thinking more or less the same thing.
Well, it isn't so much that I think they shouldn't apply to me. I think most of them shouldn't apply to anyone at all. The overwhelming majority of rules I'm aware of are painfully stupid and need to be eliminated, and this includes virtually all traffic laws. I have a sticker on my truck that reads “The more corrupt the society, the more numerous the laws,” and I absolutely believe that's true. Our governments, both federal and local, have become more and more convinced that they have the right to tell us what we aren't allowed to do, and how to do the things we are allowed to do.
So, I don't think the rules should apply to me, dear reader, but I also don't think they should apply to you. However, in spite of the empathy I try to have with you good people, I only have to experience being myself. Given that, it seems to me that the rules not applying to me is a good place to start. I'm satisfied with that for now.
So I went into my serpentine routine on my way to the 600 block of 9th Avenue. I hung a left up on 14th Street, across 5th to 6th Avenue, where I turned right. I went a block on 6th before turning left onto 13th Street (only just barely making the light), and then right again on 7th Avenue, then left onto 10th Street for the viaduct. Coming out of the viaduct the light on 8th Avenue was red, so I turned right and then left up 8th Street, and was just about to turn right onto 9th Avenue when I saw flashing lights in my mirror. “Now what in the hell,” I thought, “could they possibly want?”
I pulled into a parking lot and the cops pulled in crosswise behind me, blocking me in. They walked up to me and saw the pizza sitting next to me on the seat. “Oh, that explains it,” they said. They had first noticed me because I sorta cruised through a stop sign or two. Didn't run them, exactly, just kinda didn't come to a full-and-complete stop, 'cause there was no one coming. Plus I was driving maybe just a little bit fast. So they followed me, and then when I started weaving through town, they though maybe something was up. In the words of one of the cops, “We thought you were taking evasive action, trying to lose us,” they said.
“Trust me,” I thought but wisely didn't say, “if I'm trying to escape from you, I'll be driving a lot crazier than that.”
Anyway, they radioed my ID in just to make sure I had no outstanding warrants, and then they let me go without a ticket. But the point of the story is the strange and wonderful thing they said to me before they pulled away. They said, “If you'd had a light on your truck telling us that you were a pizza man, we wouldn't have pulled you over for that.”
See, this confirms something that I'd kind of suspected, which is that regular traffic laws, within reason, don't apply to the pizza man. It makes sense because cops order pizzas too, and they like it when the pizza gets there fast and hot just as much as you do. So it appears that, as far as the cops are concerned, there's a separate set of traffic laws for us, which appeals to me, and also makes me want a lighted sign for my roof.
Courtney thinks that I have the biggest ego of anyone she knows. I disagree; I just think that I have a very healthy self-image, and part of that self-image is the belief that I'm the perfect avatar of cool, and am completely capable of figuring out my own rules for being a productive member of society (in so far as I'm interested in being a productive member of society, which frankly ain't that far). I think that I should be trusted to use my own judgment.
Anyway, I'm sure that, upon hearing this story, Courtney is thinking to herself, “Oh great, just what he needs: support for his belief that the rules that apply to other people shouldn't apply to him.” And really, I'm guessing that some others among you who know me are thinking more or less the same thing.
Well, it isn't so much that I think they shouldn't apply to me. I think most of them shouldn't apply to anyone at all. The overwhelming majority of rules I'm aware of are painfully stupid and need to be eliminated, and this includes virtually all traffic laws. I have a sticker on my truck that reads “The more corrupt the society, the more numerous the laws,” and I absolutely believe that's true. Our governments, both federal and local, have become more and more convinced that they have the right to tell us what we aren't allowed to do, and how to do the things we are allowed to do.
So, I don't think the rules should apply to me, dear reader, but I also don't think they should apply to you. However, in spite of the empathy I try to have with you good people, I only have to experience being myself. Given that, it seems to me that the rules not applying to me is a good place to start. I'm satisfied with that for now.
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