As some of you may know, I was something of an idealist as a young man. I still am, I guess, though as I’ve gotten older I’ve honed an ability to see both sides of most serious arguments, and as a result, there are fewer things I believe in now than there used to be. But I’m pretty fierce about the things I do believe in, and no less then than now.
Among those things are these two truths: first, that war, although occasionally necessary, is wrong (duh); second, that the people who run our country are not interested in moral or ethical questions, but rather are motivated purely by self-interest, the lust for power, and (to a lesser extent) by narrow ideologies that, once they’ve reached office, they never seem to question.
I was outraged by injustices perpetrated by the United States government, and they made up a litany that I chanted in the dark years of Reagan’s Eighties. I looked at Polk’s war with Mexico, at the unjustifiable (and ultimately doomed) entry of the U.S. into World War I, and the desperate fiasco of Vietnam. I read about how we overthrew the peaceful, democratically-elected governments of Iran, Guatemala, Chile, and a host of others, and of the human disasters wrought by the right-wing dictators we replaced them with. I learned that our government is capable of great evil.
So, when I turned 18, I was aware that at some point my country might need me to take up arms in its defense, and I was prepared for that. If Russian ships had sailed up the Chesapeake Bay and landed invasion forces in Virginia in 1989, I would have been right there on the front lines, fighting them off. But I knew that historically it is very rare that soldiers are called upon to defend their country. For the most part, they are called upon to destroy other peoples’ countries in the service of the narrow self-interest of the wealthy and powerful.
In other words, I was going to decide for myself whether something was worth fighting, dying, or killing for. I was NOT going to allow that decision to be made for me. I didn’t know anyone else who could be trusted. And so, I refused to register for the draft.
That’s illegal, of course. I suppose they put you in jail for that, though I don’t know the details. How long do they keep you? Do they keep you until you register? If you never register, do they keep you ‘til you die? I should have researched this, really. But being idealistic, and a bit naïve (and then as now a little dramatic) I was willing to go to jail when they came for me. I may also have been calculating how much my success with the hippie chicks would increase after such an arrest. Going to jail for what you believe in…what’s more American than that? What could possibly be sexier?
They did come for me, of course. By happy coincidence, when they came to my house, I was already in jail for something else (something distinctly non-idealistic, but that’s a story for another time). I suppose they made a note to come ‘round again after I got out, then filed me away while they dealt with the other recalcitrants, and eventually forgot about me. They never came back. I slipped through the cracks.
It’s a strange fact about human nature that, once you’ve convinced yourself that you believe something strongly enough to go to prison rather than recant, it’s a little disappointing if you never, in fact, go to prison for it. Nevertheless, I never did register for the draft, and I’m proud of that.
It has caused me some problems in my life. When I was an International Affairs major, I discovered that I can’t hold any sort of federal job. Not only can I not be, say, Attorney General, but also I can’t be a low-level clerk at the Justice Department. Given my major, the State Department would have been the obvious employer to seek out after graduation. Even if I didn’t plan to make a career out of it, that would be the place to get experience, make contacts, get my foot in the door. However, in order for me to have even a minor position working for the Federal Government, there would have to be an actual Act of Congress. I’m pretty sure I’m not important enough to debate on the Senate floor, you know? So, there was nothing to be done about it, and after considering various options, I quietly decided to go for a different degree.
Degrees, actually, have been a much bigger problem in general. See, not only am I not eligible for government work, I’m also not eligible for federal money. None at all. The only program that I’m legally allowed to take part in is Social Security. Everything else is closed to me, and that includes every kind of Financial Aid available. None of the big government programs for student aid are open to me. I can’t even get student loans that are backed by Federal money. The main reason I still don’t have a degree is financial; you have to work full-time just to live, and if you’re doing that and going to school full time, that’s pretty stressful. But if you aren’t getting any sort of financial help, you have to have another part-time job (at least) to pay tuition and costs. There just isn’t enough time. If I work enough to pay tuition I can’t go to school, and if I have enough time to go to school I can’t afford tuition.
There are other problems, too, and they never go away. There is no statute of limitations on this offense; once you’ve reached 27 (the age at which you can no longer register), you can never be forgiven. Still, I don’t regret the decision, even after all these years. I believe still that I was right, and if there’s been trouble from it, it hasn’t been anything I couldn’t handle. I have lived an interesting and full life. I’ve been everywhere and done everything. I’ve grown tremendously as a person, if I do say so myself. I’ve learned so many wonderful and fascinating things, and known so many wonderful and fascinating people, and I’ve always had fun, always.
I’m not even sure that the lack of a degree has hurt me. I mean, yeah, maybe I would have had a more “respectable” job, making more money. Maybe so. But maybe I would have been less happy as well, because I would almost certainly have been less free. The absence of a degree hasn’t kept me from getting a lot of jobs that I’ve enjoyed. And now, of course, there’s the job at VCU, which doesn’t require a degree and for which all of my recent experience qualifies me. This is sort of like a dream come true, really; I’m perfect for the job, and the job is perfect for me. After all the miles and all the years, I’ll get to go back home. If you’ll forgive me for quoting T.S. Eliot:
The job has been posted finally. I feel like I have a pretty good shot at it. I have fixed up the nicest résumé I was able to without actually lying and sent it along. I have been (indirectly) in contact with people who will be involved in the hiring process, and they’ve been encouraging. I’ve told my landlord that I’m leaving, and notified the people I work for that I might be gone at the end of the summer. The only thing left to do is fill out the online application and schedule an interview.
So I was filling out the application, and I came across this:
UPDATE (5:38): Pretty momentous day. I just found out that I have to move. Which, yes, I was planning to move anyway, but not ‘til sometime in August (regardless of what happens with VCU). I discovered just now that I have to be out of my apartment by July 31. So, I need a new place, that isn’t too expensive, and won’t tie me to a long-term lease. Any suggestions?
Among those things are these two truths: first, that war, although occasionally necessary, is wrong (duh); second, that the people who run our country are not interested in moral or ethical questions, but rather are motivated purely by self-interest, the lust for power, and (to a lesser extent) by narrow ideologies that, once they’ve reached office, they never seem to question.
I was outraged by injustices perpetrated by the United States government, and they made up a litany that I chanted in the dark years of Reagan’s Eighties. I looked at Polk’s war with Mexico, at the unjustifiable (and ultimately doomed) entry of the U.S. into World War I, and the desperate fiasco of Vietnam. I read about how we overthrew the peaceful, democratically-elected governments of Iran, Guatemala, Chile, and a host of others, and of the human disasters wrought by the right-wing dictators we replaced them with. I learned that our government is capable of great evil.
So, when I turned 18, I was aware that at some point my country might need me to take up arms in its defense, and I was prepared for that. If Russian ships had sailed up the Chesapeake Bay and landed invasion forces in Virginia in 1989, I would have been right there on the front lines, fighting them off. But I knew that historically it is very rare that soldiers are called upon to defend their country. For the most part, they are called upon to destroy other peoples’ countries in the service of the narrow self-interest of the wealthy and powerful.
In other words, I was going to decide for myself whether something was worth fighting, dying, or killing for. I was NOT going to allow that decision to be made for me. I didn’t know anyone else who could be trusted. And so, I refused to register for the draft.
That’s illegal, of course. I suppose they put you in jail for that, though I don’t know the details. How long do they keep you? Do they keep you until you register? If you never register, do they keep you ‘til you die? I should have researched this, really. But being idealistic, and a bit naïve (and then as now a little dramatic) I was willing to go to jail when they came for me. I may also have been calculating how much my success with the hippie chicks would increase after such an arrest. Going to jail for what you believe in…what’s more American than that? What could possibly be sexier?
They did come for me, of course. By happy coincidence, when they came to my house, I was already in jail for something else (something distinctly non-idealistic, but that’s a story for another time). I suppose they made a note to come ‘round again after I got out, then filed me away while they dealt with the other recalcitrants, and eventually forgot about me. They never came back. I slipped through the cracks.
It’s a strange fact about human nature that, once you’ve convinced yourself that you believe something strongly enough to go to prison rather than recant, it’s a little disappointing if you never, in fact, go to prison for it. Nevertheless, I never did register for the draft, and I’m proud of that.
It has caused me some problems in my life. When I was an International Affairs major, I discovered that I can’t hold any sort of federal job. Not only can I not be, say, Attorney General, but also I can’t be a low-level clerk at the Justice Department. Given my major, the State Department would have been the obvious employer to seek out after graduation. Even if I didn’t plan to make a career out of it, that would be the place to get experience, make contacts, get my foot in the door. However, in order for me to have even a minor position working for the Federal Government, there would have to be an actual Act of Congress. I’m pretty sure I’m not important enough to debate on the Senate floor, you know? So, there was nothing to be done about it, and after considering various options, I quietly decided to go for a different degree.
Degrees, actually, have been a much bigger problem in general. See, not only am I not eligible for government work, I’m also not eligible for federal money. None at all. The only program that I’m legally allowed to take part in is Social Security. Everything else is closed to me, and that includes every kind of Financial Aid available. None of the big government programs for student aid are open to me. I can’t even get student loans that are backed by Federal money. The main reason I still don’t have a degree is financial; you have to work full-time just to live, and if you’re doing that and going to school full time, that’s pretty stressful. But if you aren’t getting any sort of financial help, you have to have another part-time job (at least) to pay tuition and costs. There just isn’t enough time. If I work enough to pay tuition I can’t go to school, and if I have enough time to go to school I can’t afford tuition.
There are other problems, too, and they never go away. There is no statute of limitations on this offense; once you’ve reached 27 (the age at which you can no longer register), you can never be forgiven. Still, I don’t regret the decision, even after all these years. I believe still that I was right, and if there’s been trouble from it, it hasn’t been anything I couldn’t handle. I have lived an interesting and full life. I’ve been everywhere and done everything. I’ve grown tremendously as a person, if I do say so myself. I’ve learned so many wonderful and fascinating things, and known so many wonderful and fascinating people, and I’ve always had fun, always.
I’m not even sure that the lack of a degree has hurt me. I mean, yeah, maybe I would have had a more “respectable” job, making more money. Maybe so. But maybe I would have been less happy as well, because I would almost certainly have been less free. The absence of a degree hasn’t kept me from getting a lot of jobs that I’ve enjoyed. And now, of course, there’s the job at VCU, which doesn’t require a degree and for which all of my recent experience qualifies me. This is sort of like a dream come true, really; I’m perfect for the job, and the job is perfect for me. After all the miles and all the years, I’ll get to go back home. If you’ll forgive me for quoting T.S. Eliot:
We shall not cease from explorationYeah, exactly. What could be more exciting than that?
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
The job has been posted finally. I feel like I have a pretty good shot at it. I have fixed up the nicest résumé I was able to without actually lying and sent it along. I have been (indirectly) in contact with people who will be involved in the hiring process, and they’ve been encouraging. I’ve told my landlord that I’m leaving, and notified the people I work for that I might be gone at the end of the summer. The only thing left to do is fill out the online application and schedule an interview.
So I was filling out the application, and I came across this:
Section 2.2-2804 of the Code of Virginia prohibits any board, commission, department, agency, institution or instrumentality of the Commonwealth from employing a person who is required to present himself and submit to the federal Selective Service registration requirement and failed to do so. If you are/were required to register for the Selective Service, have you done so?And now I really don’t know what I’m gonna do.
UPDATE (5:38): Pretty momentous day. I just found out that I have to move. Which, yes, I was planning to move anyway, but not ‘til sometime in August (regardless of what happens with VCU). I discovered just now that I have to be out of my apartment by July 31. So, I need a new place, that isn’t too expensive, and won’t tie me to a long-term lease. Any suggestions?
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